Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Come see our sink grown plant.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
