We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So vagazzling was a success
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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