i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
What a dumb baby whore.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize