she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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