listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
