Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
