so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
