AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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