I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
