Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
