Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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