Yo dont text me then not text me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
