i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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