I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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