all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize