If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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