Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
