I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
