I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
