does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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