How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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