her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
