it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
