Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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