was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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