those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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