Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
