And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
