your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
