I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
