Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
