Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize