Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
