If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
