when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
