I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's official drugs can't kill me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
