She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize