it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
