Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
