I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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