My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I wear drunk well.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
