okay pat passed out under dana's car
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
