does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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