Pappa wants mamma naked
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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