dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I had to cum in my sink.
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