You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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