Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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