Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I party with great urgency now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
