My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
