He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
