we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
