Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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