I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Too much gin, very little bucket
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
