just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
