in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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