Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
