My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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