whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
