I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
