I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
