Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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