shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He kissed a someone with a penis
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
