My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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