i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
