There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
