i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I would ride that face into the sunset
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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